The first four weeks: what’s normal
A sad first letter is common. Here’s what the Church says new missionaries often go through, how to write back, and when to reach out.
Four stages many missionaries go through
The Church’s guide on adjusting to missionary life describes four stages that new missionaries often move through, first at the MTC and then again when they arrive in the field.
- Anticipation. Eager, motivated, ready to go.
- Discovering the unexpected. Missing home, questioning the decision, poor sleep, appetite changes, impatience with rules. The guide calls this temporary and normal for many.
- “I can do this.” Language and teaching improve, rules feel easier, stress eases.
- Emotional self-reliance. Comfortable with the routine and more confident.
So you may get an upbeat first letter from the MTC, a hard one in week two, and another dip after arriving in the field. That pattern is expected.
Sources: Adjusting to Missionary Life
What the weeks often look like
- MTC: long days of classes and practice, a new companion, maybe a new language.
- Arrival in the field: a new country or city, a trainer, new food and climate, and the adjustment stages can start again.
- Each week: missionaries write and call home on their preparation day. They start calls and chats; you don’t call them.
Exact MTC length, schedules and rules come from your missionary’s call packet and the Missionary Portal.
Sources: Missionary Standards 3.9
What to say, and what not to say
GotMyCall’s suggestions, based on what parents tell us helps. Print it and keep it by the computer on P-day.
Try saying
- “That sounds really hard. I’m proud of you for telling me.”
- “Lots of new missionaries feel this way. It usually gets easier.”
- “What was one good moment this week?”
- “Have you talked with your companion or mission president?”
- “We pray for you by name every day.”
Try not to say
- “You can always come home.” (Leave big decisions to them and their mission president.)
- “Just pray more.”
- Long lists of home news they’re missing.
- Your own worries in detail.
- Comparisons with siblings or other missionaries.
When to reach out
- Missionary Standards tells missionaries to contact their mission leaders when stress is hard to manage or there’s an emergency. Encourage your missionary to do that.
- If you’re worried about safety, health or a crisis, contact the mission president through the mission office.
- If your family needs to reach your missionary, Missionary Standards says to contact the mission president first.
- For a medical or safety emergency where your missionary is, use local emergency services first.
See when your missionary is struggling for more help.
Sources: Missionary Standards 3.9.1 · Missionary Standards 4.3
Next steps
Questions
Is it normal for a new missionary to want to come home?
Often, yes. The Church’s adjusting guide says missing home and questioning the decision are common early on, at the MTC and again in the field, and usually pass.
Can I call my missionary if a letter worries me?
Missionaries start calls and chats on their preparation day. If you’re seriously worried, contact the mission president through the mission office first.
Should I tell them to come home?
Let your missionary make big decisions with their mission president. Listen, encourage, and help them reach support.
Sources
. Unofficial: check your call packet and the Missionary Portal for your own details. Official pages and your leaders are always the final word. GotMyCall is unofficial and not affiliated with or endorsed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.